Yesterday marked two months that I've been away from home, on this test of independence, and living in Texas with Tomas. (You can read more about its beginnings here, see how it's looked so far here and here, and read a bit about how it's felt here and here.) So yesterday evening, when I went to the market, I picked up two mini orchids to commemorate two months of being okay not being home.
Notice I didn't say "...to commemorate making the best decision of my life!" I think those kinds of things happen to other people...the ones that make moves thousands of miles away from all they've ever known and everything 'clicks' and they grow into who they're supposed to be and they make a solid foundation to what becomes the strongest, most wonderful, significant relationship of their life. Other people.
Even still, I'm proud I've 'made it' this far. I have been growing and learning. Here are three things I've learned in the two months I've been away (for the first time) from home:
1. No big change is ever going to look and feel how you thought it would.
You'd think I would have learned this when I got to high school, and it didn't look and feel exactly like Saved by the Bell. ...still pissed about that.
2. Two months in is incredibly different than two days in.
Do not jump ship after two days in. I was a mad woman two days in to this new experience, and I'm so proud of how I've made it past that manic state, and can see - in retrospect - how truly capable I was at coping and adjusting.
3. Be present as much as you can.
I get in trouble when I think about what's happening back home and who I should call to make sure they're alright or how I wish I could be with my sister and cousin on their NYC adventure or whatever. When I think about where I am NOT, I start to feel discontent. I've been practicing everyday for the past two months NOT to do that to myself. It's a constant mental exercise, and I'm learning to be present, to live in this moment and this day.
(It's really hard, though.)
