summer 2014 / I want to remember...

Summer is my favorite, the season of my soul, so everything feels a little more special. I did a post of this kind last year and the year before and it's one of those posts that I refer back to all year long until the next summer arrives and my soul feels at home again.

So mayyybe yesterday was the first day of Fall and it's almost October and this post is a little late, but there was still so much beauty from Summer 2014 I want to remember...

...starting with Mother's Day weekend in May:

I want to remember releasing red ballooons in my backyard for little Ryan Saldana.

I want to remember reading about his tragic passing a couple of days earlier and crying crying crying.

I want to remember little Ryan forever.

I want to remember going to NYC for Natalie's 30th and feeling for the first time in months - like myself. 

I want to remember my dad dropping me off in the meat-packing district, and eating pizza alone at the bar.

I want to remember seeing my friends, and dancing the night away, and taking breaks on that awkward little couch.

I want to remember the next day being Mother's Day. 

I want to remember those perfect planters I found for mom at the 99-cent store, and how she had flowers placed inside in no time at all.

I want to remember the trip to Home Depot looking for impateints, and the $4 sundresses I went home with.

I want to remember foggy spring jogs around my neighborhood listening to Sarah's podcast on overcoming perfectionnism.

I want to remember that real estate seminar dad made me go to with him, and how upon entering he said, "Remember: don't give your e-mail, don't give your phone number, and your name is Damone."

I want to remember Tomas's arrival back in NY for Memorial Day weekend.

I want to remember how fun that Memorial Day weekend BBQ was in Danielle's backyard.

I want to remember how she told me she was pregnant when I went to pour her some spiked pink lemonade.

I want to remember cousin Ryan being in town, and his and Claudia's stop by the house.

I want to remember how any amount of time around my closest guy cousin growing up is spent laughing and in hysterics.

I want to remember working on my laptop out in the sunshine on one of the chair pillows.

I want to remember how chocolate-covered Macintosh apples become my 'thing' for about two weeks.

I want to remember Ness and my June 1st trip to the Brooklyn Flea Market, and that Blue Marble salted-caramel ice cream, and that wall outside of the Brooklyn Brewery.

I want to remember all our summer walk/jog/runs.

I want to remember scaling that incline.

I want to remember happy hour with Nat at your Mother's House where Carlo, Steve, and Melissa joined us later on.

I want to remember Steve's 'pity selfie'. Haa haa!

I want to remember that most delish breakfast: whole-wheat everything bagels & strawb-banana smoothies forever!

I want to remember that time I biked 15 miles in a dress. 

I want to remember the Forest Hills Street Fair with Mrs. Cardenas and her stopping to talk to the priest, bishop, cardinal? ...one of those religious guys.

I want to remember all those snails in my backyard this summer. Not so many mosquitos, or cicadas, but a ton of snails. Summer of the snails.

I want to remember my mom floating in the pool and her makeshift pool lounge.

I want to remember We R's June 11th product meeting and how I was Skyped right into the meeting -- like I was right there in Salt Lake City. Technology is amazing.

I want to remember going to Novita and being fancy at dinner with Elisa ordering white truffle pizza.

I want to remember that trip to the beach with Danielle and eating rainbow-cookie cake and sour patch kids.

I want to remember looking at the group of 18 year olds behind us with their Bud Lite Limes and hating.

I want to remember receiving printed out versions of my paper designs and opening the box with my mom, and us ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over each and every piece as I pulled them out.

I want to remember trying that 3-Day Detox diet and how bad it went in a matter of hours.

I want to remember the first batch of crafts I made with my paper supplies and how for that Monday and Tuesday down in my craftroom, I finally came to terms with designing for living. I like this, I thought. I can do this.

I want to remember the very next day I got the news that American Crafts had bought We R Memory Keepers and how I knew what that inevitably meant.

I want to remember getting that picture of Claudia on her prom night.

I want to remember all the love, heart, and soul I put into making that little gold 30th Birthday mini book for my friend Danielle.

I want to remember watching my bunch graduate 5th grade.

I want to remember sitting next to Wanda and Ms. Alesi announcing at the end of the ceremony that I was there, and seeing Richard, Gabriel, and Dayly look for me in the stands.

I want to remember being outside in the school yard with them in sun.

I want to remember this above moment with my John, us pals, chatting about sock monkey and his moving to Florida.

I want to remember all the appreciation I received from their parents.

I want to remember my life as teacher forever.

I want to remember Ness and I driving to Vincent's for Danielle's 30th Birthday dinner and waiting and waiting and waiting for them to arrive.

I want to remember texting Tomas and missing him that night.

I want to remember the look on her face as she opened the mini book and looked through it and passed it around.

I want to remember that the very next day, we found out my Grandpa has passed away.

I want to remember driving around with dad that day - being his company - while he my uncle made arrangements and handled funeral decisions.

I want to remember going through pictures with Aunt Rose and being in charge of the photo-posters.

I want to remember waking up the day of the wake and writing down these words to say that I ended up never saying outloud.

I want to remember how surrounded by my father's side of the family I was those two days of my Grandfather's funeral, and how good it felt to see them.

I want to remember St. Greg's this summer and how different it felt as a 29 year old compared to an 18 year old.

I want to remember playing BlackJack with Rita and Danielle and how that was our 'thing' for a week.

I want to remember the kitty boops fascination with the pool this year and how their new trick was climbing the pool ladder.

I want to remember Carmen's hilarious pinky toe in that photo.

I want to remember Aunt Laura's retirement dinner, and how I made ridiculous retirement crowns for everywhere to wear at the table.

I want to remember the every.single.Saturday. errand-running and food-shopping routine my dad and I continued throughout the summer. 

I want to remember looking down at my saltwaters that day thinking something's gotta give.

I want to remember the weekend of Graduation parties: Claudia's, then Sammy's.

I want to remember that last day/Monday in June when us girls had a beach day.

I want to remember watching Max and Berlin have a ball.

I want to remember my summer boobies.

I want to remember dropping Alejandro off at the vet, my sister off at the doctor, and then having lunch with her at PRESS.

I want to remember when he sent me the floorpan, and I plotted out decorating dreams.

I want to remember my silly 4th of July company, and the amazing view from the balcony, and how close the fireworks were.

I want to remember me and Carmen up so early, partying barefoot in the backyard.

I want to remember my cousin Andrea's wedding that night.

I want to remember feeling so content to be 'us three' with my sister and cousin, Rachel. 

I want to remember looking at my Aunt Anna and my Aunt Josie and seeing my Nana in them so much.

I want to remember my favorite moment of the evening: looking up at the ceiling mirrors and capturing this photo. 

I want to remember my first wedding photobooth expeirence.

I want to remember cutting a rug with cousin Melinda.

I want to remember that totally awesome, need-to-have-it pineapple doorbell on Nat and Carlo's house.

I want to remember how pineapples were having a moment.

I want to remember this A+N+E day at the beach.

I want to remember how much the girls liked the spiked pink lemonade I brought.

I want to remember how drunk Elisa got from it!

I want to remember my Aunt Laura's 63rd birthday this year.

I want to remember meeting my cousin's friend, Daniel, and how much fun we all had karaoking the night away!

I want to remember going with dad to Sutphin Blvd in Jamaica, thinking it was going to be a fast run, and ending up sitting on the courtroom steps with a McDonald's cone for over an hour.

I want to remember getting the text from Danielle that she and Manny are having a girl! (!!!)

 

I want to remember how The Little Couple was my little lifeboat after the shipwreck.

I want to remember travelling with mom all the way out on Long Island for Franny's Baby Shower.

I want to remember pluggin the address in to three different GPSs and still driving past the place several times.

I want to remember what we saw when we walked in.

I want to rememeber how - arriving at 12:45 - we thought we were late, but turns out we were 15 minutes early.

I want to remember the laugh mom and I had because she thought the shower started at 12, but in fact it started at 1 on July 12th. Oh mom.

I want to remember the cats' new dufflebag carriers.

I want to remember that dad was rushed to the emergency room again.

I want to remember the struggle: I want to be skinny, but I also want to eat cookies, and how this summer the latter part usually won out.

I want to remember that Tuesday Ness and I spontaneously decided to walk to the library and rent dozens of home decor magazine to devour that night.

I want to remember the Yard Sale I hosted, and how my friend Elisa was a crazy salesperson.

I want to remember finding a new anklet amongst the jewelry mom put out to sell.

I want to remember the mask-wearing, sweaty messes sis and I were cleaning dad's house of infection.

I want to remember my favorite treat for life: mint-chocolate chip with a rocky road toupee.

I want to remember those 6 weird headless outfit shots I took.

I want to remember that weird afternoon I discovered a squirrel trapped under our pool ladder. ?? ...and how I concocted that plank for it to save itself with.

I want to remember sleepy Carmen on our couch.

I want to remember Claude & my heads through that weird cartoon farm scene, and thinking that she is literally the only person I know who'd be as enthused as me to do something like that.

I want to remember this year's pool party with Jamina and the kids.

I want to remember what I said to Berlin that immediately calmed her down when she was scared and panicky in the pool: "Don't you know that I love you and I would never let you fall under the water?"

I want to remember the silly 4-year-old moments my two kitty babies had this summer in the house.

I want to remember Alejandro's new trick of standing on the bathtub and looking out the window.

I want to remember the two of them intensely watching Meerkat Manor on television.

I want to remember Carmen peeking out from behind those red flowers.

I want to remember Alejandro supervising the framing of my artwork.

I want to remember kisses and cuddles and belly rubs in the grass.

I want to remember them (as my mother says) like bookends looking out the front window.

I want to remember the neon pop art I made of them.

I want to remember the beach photoshoot baby announcement I conducted for Danielle and Manny, and those little pink flip flops.

I want to remember our second E + N + A beach day in which all three of us were on our Tommy Bahama beach chairs.

I want to remember us leaving the beach to get Starbucks at 4:30pm, and later sending each other these cracked out, caffeine-high photos of ourselves. (I still laugh about that one.)

I want to remember meeting up with the girls at St. Rocco's Feast in Glen Cove.

I want to remember how at peace I felt being there with my girls and the Balzano clan.

I want to remember riding that freefall ride with Guili.

I want to remember dancing to the old school Italian music in front of an audience of old school Italians.

I want to remember being in the company of little Julia...

...and this little shot of her with her Dora purse holding nonna and zia's hands.

I want to remember my third year participating in the mugswap.

I want to remember the new piece of evidence we received that Alejandro is, in fact, THE BATMAN.

I want to remember being happy to get outside and water those plants for mom after spending 5+ hours on the phone with various maddening departments of the New York City system.

I want to remember Sister's Day and revealing to Ness the greatness that is The Container Store.

I want to remember us simultaneously agreeing to both buy that 'jewlery dress'.

I want to remember finding those yellow floral pillows and black and white rug on our visit to Home Goods that night.

I want to remember that sitting outside with a home decor magazine was my jam this summer. Like, my jammy jam.

I want to remember mom with her new BBQ.

I want to remember how burnt roasted marshmallows over the BBQ will forever taste like summer.

I want to remember how much of that first week of August Ness rested, and how I was happy to be there to take care of her.

I want to remember that morning I made pizza dough on my own.

I wan to remember all the construction that look place next door.

I want to remmeber that time Ness got up enough energy to straighten my hair for my very important Skype inteview and how we both chatted on the couch after it.

I want to remember that time I woke up dead in the middle of the night fnd out I was not the only one wide awake.

I want to remember that time Ness caught me at Stop&Shop 'carrying a watermelon' like Baby in DD.

I want to remember moving that Nike box into the sunbeam, and finding out a few minutes later that someone else thought it was a great idea.

I want to remember the cats begging my dad for shrimp as he peeled them, especially my shrimp-boy, Alejandro.

I want to remember how the house looked at night once the stringed lights were actually turned on.

I want to remember that happy day home-decor shopping at the West Elm outlets, and how Ness found her dining room table that day.

I want to remember all my beloved summer lunches and dinners with Aunt Laura. 

I want to remember Ness and my 2-hour trek from our house to her new apartment.

I want to remember the pinky-swear promise we made on that walk to always be best bitts.

I want to remember how sad I felt upon hearing the tragic news that Robin Williams had passed, and even worse: killed himself after a lifelong battle with depression.

I want to remember how weird I thought it was that the morning it happened, I had watched him over and over in this clip from Good Will Huting preparring to use it in this blog post.

I want to remember the card I made for Elisa + Nat, and how perfect the sentiment was.

I want to remember my mall-day out with Claude the day after her 18th (!!!) birthday. 

I want to remember telling her I'd buy her a new school outfit, and her getting excited when I bought her several. 

I want to remember how she sneakily asked me what my favorite scent was in Bath&Body Works, made it look like she took my suggestion and bought herself soap, when in fact she paid for it and surpised me by handing the bag of my favorite-scented soap to me as a goodbye gift. She's the sweetest sweetest...and so clever!

I want to remember trying on those pointy-toed leopard flats, unsure whether to buy them or not.

I want to remember Claudia convincing me by saying, "Get 'em. Those are sooo social media coordinator shoes."

I want to remember packing and shipping my mug swap goodies.

I want to remember that humid Tuesday going to work with my dad.

I want to remember him pulling his weight and making his runs even with that stupid boot on his foot.

I want to remember him gabbing and gabbing with this guy and that guy and this one and that, and me realizing he is so Nana's son.

I want to remember our karaoke-singing dinner and how it was a going away party for me disguised as a casual hang out night. 

I want to remember cousin Lauren with that slice of bread in her mouth, telling me that was 'the trick' to not cry while cutting onions.

I want to remember that last weekend in New York when Aunt Dawn visited, we saw the inside of Nessa'a new aprtment for the first time, and my sister and I got into the biggest fight of our lives (over nothing really).

I want to remember how that trip to IKEA the next day was perfect remedy for all the tension. "Let's get out of the house, go to IKEA, and do something normal," my mom said. 

I want to remember sitting in the back seat squished by Vanessa's giant IKEA haul.

I want to remember giving my mom a good laugh at Carmen's expense by taping obese cats to the treat cabinet my chubby Carmen begs for food in front of.

I want to remember all that packing I did.

I want to remember kissing my mom and dad at airport and not crying. I was so happy I didn't cry.

I remember feeling a little sad, but ready and capable, sitting there with my two worried travel buddies in duffle bag carriers on either side of me:

Last year's summer was extended for me. It went way into the third week of September since I didn't return to teaching, and graphic design school started September 23rd.

This year's summer was cut short. It ended for me right here in this picture. (Funny how summer 2013 ended at the airport, and so did this year's.) I felt the seasons click right then and there and yep, change had inevitably come. Since that day in August, sitting there at the start of my Texas journey - my independence adventure - it has felt like the end of an era to me.

My sister's moved out, I'm living in Texas, I took the two kitty boops with me, and my mom is all alone in that big house in Queens. Everything feels different than the images you scrolled through above. We are all changing, like the leaves in autumn time, and summer has long since gone.

...I wonder what the fall and winter have in store for us.