my little lifeboat after the shipwreck

This post might be a weird read to anyone who's never seen the show, or feels reality T.V. is phooey, or has some ingrained prejuduce towards little people or whatever it might be, but this is a post on how The Little Couple was like a little lifeboat for me after the shipwreck. This is post about my love for the show and the Klein family and how I feel that they saved me.

Back in February, I was catching the coming attractions to this season's opening episode and it seemed filled with drama and worth watching. Bill and Jen were going to India to pick up their daughter, Zoey, and Jen found out she had cancer. I thought that was both so exciting and so sad, and I wanted to see how it panned out. I watched that first episode from my hotel room while I was in Utah for work in March. It was dramatic and everything a reality T.V. show is supposed ot be. "I'll catch the next episode, I guess," I thought, and that was it. However, during this time, I also was hit with a huge bought of anxiety. I called it a 'funk of epic proportions' and it WAS, and it leveled me, and it seemed to come out of nowhere.

When I think about it retrospect, there might have been a few contributing factors: a few months until I turn 30, not knowing what the outcome will be with Tomas, missing him and wanting to be with him, but still desiring my independence, still living at home, a new job, a big learning curve, deadlines, big adjustment working from home, not to mention one of the worst winters we've had, no sunlight on my skin, no physical activity...no wonder.

Enter: The Little Couple, and their two adorable kids, and the love and lightness of their show. With each passing week and each episode watched, I began to have faith in something again. It's like that song: "Suddenly I see...this is what I want to be..." Not in the crazy stalk-your-life kind of way, but in the all-consuming, beautiful inspiration kind of way.

I DVRed every episode, and downloaded the Instant Videos of past seasons from Amazon.com. I watched all that I could (seasons 2 and 3 are unavailable...boo) and just loved each and every episode of routine things any couple does, but how in the end, as long as they're together, it's good and warm and fun. I think growing up only witnessesing disfunctional, difficult families, and being a part of one myself, it's hard for me to imagine a family 'working'. Does that make sense? ...and now in my adult life, I'm trying to figure out how I could make a family of my own work. Spoiler: it's harder to figure out than you think.

Last night was the season finale of the show, and for the past 16 weeks of this season, Bill and Jen's love has inspired me to believe in it again, and hope for it for myself. ...and when something hits you like a huge episode of anxiety and depression, it's simply a miracle that something like that can happen for you, if ever so slight.

On last night's season finale, as you see in the pictures of this post, Bill surprised Jen for her 40th Birthday by proposing to her for a second time, having her a tailor-made dress for a vow-renewal ceremony, and inviting all of their family and friends to witness it and part with them afterwards. It was so beautiful, and truly touching television.

This post is to say 'thank you' to my Little Couple. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story. Thank you for making me less scared. Thank you for giving me hope.

I pray that I'm lucky enough to be afforded the blessings of a loving, kind, and considerate husband (like Bill) who knows my worth and who I'm crazy about in return. ...that I'm afforded the blessings of (at least) two adorable, good, happy and healthy children. Jen has the love and support of family and friends and much success in a job she loves. I pray for these for me and you.