So I told 'em.

Yep, I told 'em. Now, the thought of leaving teaching is no longer a thought -- it's been made official and put into action.

It happened last week when the principal sent someone to watch over my class so she and the assistant principal could talk to me in their office about next year. Right when they were about to start, I interrupted, "I have to drop a bomb..." and that was my opening.

{deep sigh} I get anxious even thinking about it. However, what went on in that conversation was good stuff, and I'm grateful for it. They told me I was "the surprise of the day" and did not have the slightest idea that they were going to have that conversation with me. (I hid this very well.)

In retrospect I feel it went as good as it could've gone because I let them know how much I loved the kids, people, and the school, and that the reason I was leaving was none of that. My principal was very understanding, and kind, and even mentioned that if I ever wanted to come back, the door would be opened.

Our end-tern party was later that day. I took pictures of everyone I know I'll want to remember. I was sad, but had a good time. I again thanked the Principal and Assistant Principal for their kindness earlier that day. I thought I had a handle on the aftermath of the decision...

...then ENTER yesterday's half-day, and ENTER the release of next year's organization sheet. Someone's name (ahem...mine) was not on it. ENTER the co-worker floodgates of "whys", "hows", concerns, and "goodbyes". I thought I was ready to handle it. I thought I had the key points of the convo covered and ready at my disposal. EEK! I was wrong.

About 20 people came to up to me yesterday confused and wanting answers. I was a mix between wanting to give them as little information as possible and wanting to spill my guts on the topic, but really...a decision that took me over 18 months of dissecting and analyzing and soul-searching to come to, that I never thought I'd have to make and knocked me off my feet, is very hard to explain in a 2 minute chit-chat of answering one's many questions.

I know why I decided to leave, and as I said in this post, I've never made a decision that I didn't believe in my heart was right, and this decision is no different. The feelings I've shared here back in January 2012 were validated with this decision, and now's the time to try something different. Just now's the time.

...and of all the co-worker concerns and chats I had yesterday it was Vita (whose first day back from maternity leave was yesterday and who showed up like a guardian angel of sorts) who relayed to me the best piece of advice I got:

"Plan your life 6 months at a time."

How do you know how you'll feel about anything after that?
she told me.

It was like a light bulb went off. Vita was right. I'm an over-planner. I'm a little agenda-crazy. I'm type-A, and I can over-analyze with the best of 'em. In all the craziness of yesterday, it was those eight words that resonated.

I have my next six months planned -- all the way to December 20th -- and I am excited and happy with my decision. Even though I know this, it doesn't make leaving any easier. I'm still sad, but I need to make peace with leaving. I need to make peace with it.

This is where I'm at today, readers, and...
...one lyric after the other of the song below describes my week and my year.

"How Do We Know" - Katie Costello (For lyrics, see here.)

Thanks for reading and listening, and for your support on the matter.