Before reading the post below, read the first time I wrote about the 'shift' in January 2012, and then the second time a few months later in June 2012.
Now here I am, the morning after my last day of school, and the 'shift' in me -- the change from wanting wholeheartedly to be a classroom teacher to not wanting to associate myself with the education profession at all -- has come full circle.
I am not coming back in September, and I have to make peace with leaving.
My ship has sailed, and my focus is going to be about
organization, creation, fruition, and relaxation this summer.
But before talking and going into that, let me reminisce about yesterday, my last day...
...I woke up feeling pressure to write out 'thank you' cards and wrap presents so when my mom said, "Happy Last Day! How do you feel?" I felt like every weekday morning of school this year -- crazed, rushed, and needing to prepare for the day ahead.
When I got to work, I made sure my para's gift was set up and ready first, then worked to get together gifts for my co-worker besties, Michele and Meaghan, and the principal and assistant principal.
When the kids walked in, I got many happy summer smiles and hugs and my Genesis gave me a scarf with a card written in Spanish so I couldn't really read it. :) Bianca gave me a bead. Yep, a single bead. We just hung out most of the morning. Richard and I started on a SpongeBob puzzle.
A little later on we played "I will remember..." where each person says something they will remember about the year and the next person has to say the previous people's things, then add their own.
They watched Judy Moody and the Not-So-Bummer Summer, and I passed out report cards. When I dismissed them, we had a huge group-hug moment, and that might have been my favorite part of the whole day. Most will miss me, so I guess I done good.
The final two standing were myself and John -- waiting for him to be picked up -- and that's when it hit me. My good ol' buddy John, who drove me literally bat crazy (he's said to me on a few occassions "Looks like I'm not the only one who needs a therapist"), was standing there with me for probably the last time, and I choked up. My heart is filled with John and my bunch. It always will be.
...after that was lunch. My principal and assistant principal again wished good luck to the retirees of the year. One of our speech teachers, Vita, is going on a leave of absence and was wished well. Then they came to me, and again, I choked up. I didn't hear much of what she said, but I suppose it was nice of her to mention. I'm not sure.
My fellow 5th grade co-workers surprised me with a beautiful 'Goodbye' card that said "Is there a way you could leave without going away?" That is exactly how I feel. They also framed a picture of all of us dressed up for 5th grade graduation, and gave me a $100 Visa gift card. It touched my heart and was the sweetest gesture.
Soon after that, school was out for summer. I met up with friends at a local Mexican restaurant/bar and we talked of teacher things and other things. We put the crazy end-of-year gifts on the bar and cracked jokes about 'em. I got drunk off of 1 and a half Mojitos.
Yes, summer is officially here for this former special-education self-contained classroom teacher. Time to feel human again.
Time to refocus.
Time for organization.
Time for creation.
Time for fruition.
Time for relaxation.
The 'shift' got me here...
...here I am...
and let's see where I go.
